BIRTHDAYS. WIDELY REGARDED as ‘fun’, right? Wrong. So wrong.
Ask anyone over the age of 12 – birthdays are stressful. Here’s why.
Being the centre of attention is difficult for many of us
If anyone tries to make you wear a novelty badge or sash on your birthday, you’ll go spare. You’ll go spare!
The awkwardness of the office sing-along
Characteristics of an office birthday celebration:
- Funeral-style procession to birthday boy/girl’s desk
- The world’s quietest, most half-hearted rendition of Happy Birthday is sung
- Birthday boy/girl inwardly (or outwardly) curses the traitor who ratted them out
Fretting over what to do while people sing Happy Birthday at you
The only thing we have gathered thus far, in all our years of birthdays, is that it’s weird to sing along with them.
But what then? Smile inanely? Clap your hands? Crawl under the table and refuse to come out?
The Facebook conundrum
You don’t want to wish every single one of your Facebook friends a happy birthday, but you’d probably be really sad if everyone ignored yours.
YES. GIVE US ALL YOUR BEST WISHES.
The pressure to party
Nooooo. Can we just stay at home and watch telly this year, please?
‘What if nobody turns up?’
On the other hand, if you do organise a party, there’s a whole host of other things to think about.
What if they don’t have a good time? What if I don’t have a good time?! Ah here.
Realising that you are now one year older
Ah hello, existential crisis. We’ve been expecting you.
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